It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town or travel in this country, when they see the streets, the benches, and business doors, crowded with hungry people, thousands of them. It’s a worldwide problem, really. Recently, I have realized that the problem is kind of silly, we have a near endless supply of meat sleeping on our couches, rolling in our living rooms, and peeing on our stop signs. You’ve read the title, I’m talking about dogs, or fragrant meat as many cultures call it. I am aware of the backlash I might get from vegans and their sympathizers, but I’m confident that a lot of people will agree with me after reading this article, the arguments I am about to make are so secure that they have motivated our ancestors to eat other animals and their byproducts for hundreds, if not thousands of years.
First, people have been eating dogs for thousands of years, and it’s part of many cultures. I personally have some German heritage, and they used to eat dog meat all the way up until 1986! I should be granted special access to fragrant meat because it’s embedded in my culture, culture is more important than our morals. Second, fragrant meat is a type of red meat, and contains only slightly less protein than both poultry and beef. The fact that fragrant meat has protein in it is huge, and since dogs are loyal, and have many children at once –like pigs– it only makes sense that we should begin eating them, they take less space than cows, and since they mature quickly(faster than cows) it would not only save time, but would save money and no doubt be much cheaper than beef!
Next, dog milk has much higher protein content than cows milk, and with the proper handling, it could be made drinkable and much healthier. Again, dogs reproduce and mature much quicker than cows, so dog milk would be even cheaper, faster to produce, and more healthy. They’re basically pigs that make milk! Again, I know that lots of vegans will have problems with this, but they aren’t very bright, and they are blinded by emotions. And I know that nobody who isn’t vegan will object to this system, why would they. Pigs are just as smart and emotionally active as dogs, per a study by the National Library of Medicine(a government website, so a reliable one), so if we’re willing to eat pigs we must be willing to eat fragrant. Vegans will say that they’re too cute for us to eat them, but that’s just their subjective opinion. Vegans will say that it’s “bad for our health” and that red meat has “carcinogens” and “spreads diseases.” But real men don’t care about cancer or epidemics, real men care about protein.
Henry David Thoreau once said that “I have no doubt that it is part of the destiny of the human race in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.” But as we all know, that man was never right about anything, and let’s be honest, humans are at the top of the food chain, we have absolutely no responsibility to help dogs. To back up this point: The Bible tells us that we as humans have dominion over animals, google says that dominion is “to rule or control.” As we know, the best way to rule over others is to oppress them, and anyone who believes that this passage supports eating some animals, must believe that it backs up eating others.
Finally I want to address the environmental point. Technically it is true that pigs, cows, and yes, dogs, need to consume more plants per individual than humans do. Technically speaking it would be more environmentally friendly to not eat dogs. But by that logic we should just stop eating all animals, and that would just be too inconvenient, wouldn’t it? Real men don’t care about the environment, real men don’t care about their health, and real men don’t care about creatures that aren’t similar to them. That would be woke.
